The Raven

Rated: R

Run time: 1 hr 43 mins

Starring: John Cusack and Luke Evans

First let me say, I am a fan of John Cusack movies. But in The Raven as Edgar Allen Poe, he exceeded even my expectations. This has to be one of Cusack’s best performances to date. That being said, I was a little disappointed in the movie as a whole.

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary.” The opening line of “The Raven”, fits the setting for the movie. It is dark and gloomy, which is probably by design but I feel the movie would have been better served by a little color at least. The movie is set in the final days of Poe’s life and revolves around his mysterious death. I think the writers did an awesome job writing a story that builds a scenario that could explain Poe’s final days. Poe was one of the first American writers to try and make a living solely on his writing and so suffered financially. John Cusack portrays Poe as a dark, alcoholic and vain writer trying to make ends meet. And that’s when things begin to fall apart for our intrepid author. A demented serial killer starts murdering people based on Poe’s stories. The police detective Fields, Luke Evans, initially suspects Poe of the murders. After dismissing him as a suspect, Fields asks Edgar to help in trying to capture the killer. Then Poe’s fiancé is kidnapped and the only way to save her is to engage in a battle of wits with the serial killer. He begins leaving clues that only Poe can figure out. This half of the movie is a little slow. I was expecting more of a detective story, seeing the clues and watch them being deciphered by Edgar and the detective. The director seemed to spend too long setting up the story. After this, things started to pick up quickly. One clue leads to another and then another. There is one pretty grisly scene, I don’t really need to tell you where it is – you’ll know it when you see it, so if you’re squeamish close your eyes for half a minute or so. In the second half of the movie the pace begins to feel more frantic as the end grows ever nearer. There is a pretty good twist to the movie. I am usually good at figuring out the mystery well before the reveal, this time though I barely figured it out before our hero.

If you are a John Cusack fan, then for nothing else go watch it for his performance as Edgar Allen Poe, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. If, however, you're not a fan I'd recommend waiting for the DVD release so you can skip the boring parts. “Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore””.

The Three Stooges

Rated PG; 1 hour 32 minutes

It stars Sean Hayes as Larry, Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe and a brilliant turn by Will Sasso as Curly.

Was this movie funny? Soitenly! Are these the Stooges you grew up with? No. Are they funny in the same way? Yes. There was a packed house, with ages literally from 8 to 80 and I think everyone was laughing at some point. I even brought laughter with one of those “oops, did I say that out loud” moments. No joke, there was a scene with some signs written by the stooges and of course I read one that struck me as funny out loud and started cracking up. When everyone around me started laughing, I realized I said that out loud. Oh well, no one seemed to mind. The movie is broke down into three episodes that all tie together.

The orphanage that the boys were raised is in dire straits. They need to raise $830,000 by the end of the month or the orphanage is going to be closed. It’s the stooges to the rescue. This leads to all kinds of hi-jinks, from a murder for hire, to ruined businesses and unexpected stardom for Moe. Sounds like a plot, right? Who’d a thunk it? Not much of one, but enough to go from one slapstick scene to another. The actors look pretty close to the originals and they must have studied them for a long time because they have the mannerisms down pretty dang good.

Don’t go to this movie expecting to see anything new. It is at its heart a Three Stooges film. If you go in looking for a fun filled hour and a half full of eye pokes, head slaps and various other slapstick style comedy you won’t be disappointed. As a matter of fact, I will go as far as predicting you will laugh out loud and leave the theatre happier than you were when you got there. There’s something to be said for mindless comedy and the Farrelly brothers hit the nail on the proverbial head with this one. They even go as far as filming a short disclaimer before the credits roll, showing kids that the hammers and other props that are used to bonk and boink each other on the head are not real and neither were the eye pokes.

Go see this movie, spread the laughter.

Lockout

PG-13; running time – 1 hour 35 minutes

Starring: Guy Pearce and Maggie Grace

I had total flashbacks during this movie. No, not that kind of flashback. It was back to one of my favorite periods for movies, the late 80’s. That was the era of the unstoppable one man wrecking machine fully capable of taking on all bad guys while spewing forth wise cracking one-liners. I love those movies, so it should come as no surprise that I liked Lockout a lot.

Guy Pearce plays this part by channeling his inner Snake Plisskin (a role made famous by Kurt Russell in Escape from New York and Escape from LA). He did a pretty good job at it too. This time the one man gang’s name is Snow, just Snow. Do you really need 2 names to take on a whole prison full of psychotic inmates? I didn’t think so. Snow is sent to a prison in space where the prisoners are cryogenically frozen. I bet neither Steve McQueen nor Clint Eastwood could escape from this prison. I mean what are they going to do, float away? So why, you ask, is the hero going there to flex his muscles and his wits? It’s because Maggie Grace, who is well practiced in being kidnapped from her role in Taken, is in peril and cliché of all clichés; she is the President’s daughter. You know so many have kidnapped the Prez’s daughter and it never ends well. You’d think they could find someone else to kidnap. Of course there is a sub plot going too. Because we find, early on, our smart-ass hero Snow is being framed for a crime he didn’t commit. So of course he has to prove his innocence while rescuing the First Daughter-in-distress while fighting a bunch of recently thawed psychos (especially the cat that gets the whole thing rolling). The special effects are okay, except for one scene involving a motorcycle chase that’s looks like a bad video game excerpt.

If you like the movies from around the late 80’s to early 90’s where the hero throws one-liners like he throws right hooks, go see this movie. It’ll entertain the hell out of you. Guy Pearce isn’t Bruce Willis or Arnold, but he’ll do if you need to scratch that action hero itch.

American Reunion

Rated R; 1 hour 53 minutes

Starring: The original cast from 1999’s American Pie

Yes, the original cast is back and they’re all grown up. At least that’s the tag line, Stifler will never grow up. This franchise has so many sequels that I can’t even begin to remember all of them. The original was great, the 2^nd one not so much, American Wedding was pretty funny, and the rest don’t matter since they were different characters.

Jim and Michelle are still married with a 2 year old, Kevin is married and is seriously domesticated, Finch is Finch, Oz is a sportscaster in LA and his girlfriend is some kind of a model, and Stifler is, well, Stifler. They’re all back together for their 13^th class reunion, I guess they forgot to have a 10^th.

Jim and Michelle are a sexually frustrated couple, that can’t seem to find time for “togetherness”. Once they get back to the ole hometown, the girl next door, that Jim used to babysit, is turning 18 and wants to lose her virginity to her ex baby sitter. Jim gets into his normal trouble that his partly his fault and partly dumb luck. Jason Biggs does a really good job of playing a goof ball that crap just happens to no matter how hard he tries to stay out of trouble.

Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy steal the movie though. When the two of them get together in one scene, it makes for some serious laughter. There are plenty of laughs in this movie to keep you entertained. If you liked any of the American Pie movies, you’ll enjoy the hell out of this one. If you didn’t, then you probably aren’t reading this anyway and have no intention of seeing this one either. Oh by the way, Stifler finally gets his revenge on Finch for hooking up with Stifler’s mom in the first movie. I highly recommend spending a few hours to see this raunchy but funny flick.

Don’t get up as soon as the credits start to roll or you’ll miss one of the funniest scenes in the whole movie.

Wrath of the Titans

PG-13; running time 1 hour 39 minutes

Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes

I saw this in IMAX 3D. It was loud, no, it was very loud. The 3D effects were pretty good. The movie is a sequel to 2010’s Clash of the Titans. Sam Worthington reprises his role has Perseus, son of Zeus (once again played by Liam Neeson). Hades (Ralph Fiennes, with his nose) is at it again trying to take over the world. 

It’s been about 10 years since the last time we’ve seen the demi-god Perseus. Once again he is trying to live as a normal human with his son. Thing go awry from there, when Hades and Ares kidnap Zeus so they can release Kronos (father to Zeus, Poseidon and Hades). Kronos is one pissed off pappy, let me tell you. I guess I would be too, if I’d been locked up for eons. It's up to Perseus and company to save the day, again.

This flick had plenty of action. With that said, I would personally like to kick the person’s butt that decided it cool to use a handheld camera and bounce it around to make the action look faster or whatever in the hell they’re trying to accomplish. Whatever happened to watching a movie and being able to tell what is going on in a given scene? Maybe it saves money on special effects, I don’t know. It was used to excessiveness in this movie. To the point that it was hard to tell not only who was winning a fight, but sometimes who was even in the fight. Except for that, this was a pretty good movie. The movie had some light moments supplied by the character Agenor (son of Poseidon) as played by Toby Kebbell.

In spite of the shaky camera work, most people will probably enjoy Wrath of the Titans. If you can, see it in IMAX 3D, failing that at least see it in 3D the effects are worth it.

The Sitter

Originally Rated R, but I watched the “Totally Inappropriate Edition”

Run time: too long

Starring: Jonah Hill

 

Two words, it sucked.

There were a few scenes that brought forth an occasional chuckle. Only one scene, when the movie was almost over, actually made me laugh out loud. And it was because a character’s crotch was on fire (yes I am easily entertained). Other than that, this movie wasn’t really that good.

Would I watch it again? Probably, but then I’m a glutton for punishment AND I already own it. I wouldn’t recommend buying it; unless you’re my son Blake (he would probably laugh the Mohawk right off of his head).